


Classic Strawberry Shake

by HailSam



Category: Gravity Falls, Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: :), ? - Freeform, Alternate Universe - Cults, Basically, Because he can, LMAO, M/M, Murder, Oblivious Sans, Pastel Goth, Strawberry does, Strawberry/Red is Bill Cipher, easily flustered, eating humans, he will murder for Sans, kustard - Freeform, maybe? - Freeform, not Sans
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-06
Updated: 2020-04-22
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:35:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23506234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HailSam/pseuds/HailSam
Summary: Strawberry is a Chaos Demon like no other. He does what he wants, when he wants, where he wants. Humans are fun to play with sometimes, until they make him mad.Then he meets a punny skeleton, and perhaps his viewpoint on mortals changes just a bit.Not a lot. But just a bit.
Relationships: Kustard, Sans/Sans (Undertale)
Comments: 58
Kudos: 85





	1. The Meeting of Two

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me:  
> https://twitter.com/sassyhaillive  
> https://www.pillowfort.social/HailSam  
> https://sassyhail.tumblr.com/
> 
> If you need on Pillowfort or even an invite here, let me know I'll help you out :)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They meet!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like to envision Strawberry as something like a magical girl. Like Magicka Modika? All pretty and perky with terrifying powers lol.

Humanity, Strawberry had come to find, was a disgusting race filled with horrible people. Little skittering evils, hiding in the darkness, waiting and waiting for the innocent prey to come by.

Until Strawberry arrived on a pink parasol, sugary sweet smile as he held out a gloved hand, his pink lacy dress puffing around him. “Make a deal~?” he'd croon, his glove pulsing with a dark red fire.

And they'd shake his hand, like he knew they would, those foul little ugly things.

His red eye lights would watch them, and if the deal was boring, or if he lost interest...he'd just eat them. It wasn't hard.

After all, he could change the terms and conditions any time he pleased.

He was relaxing in his 'home', a separate realm from the humans in which blood-curdling shrieks filled the air and blood filled his teacup, when he felt the pull. The pull of a summon.

He sighed, slowly placing his teacup on the table, slipping his shoes on-bright, shiny black leather ones-and hefted up his parasol. “Off to spread chaos, darlings~” He called out. “Play nice.”

And he erupted into a bright pink flame, leaving his realm once more.

He decided to go for flair this time. It was a book summon, so he could play around with it a little. He slowly crawled out of the summon circle, morphing his face halfway into his true form, his skull shaping into a heart as he grinned with sharp teeth. “Hello-”

...there was no one.

He faced a bookcase.

He blinked, then looked left, then right. He saw the back of someone in a blue hoodie, and huffed. How dare they summon him from a night of quietness and then just leave! He won't stand for that, no he won't!

He puffed up, popping into his 'mortal form' as he held his parasol over his arm, shoes clicking as he angrily headed after the person. Oh he was gearing up for a fight with this one, ready to swat them and pretend to be a poor little broken-hearted monster, or breaking out his true form and dragging them into his realm.

That sounded nice. He was pretty hungry.

His teeth separated, long serpent tongue licking over them. Mmmm yes. It had been a long time. He sped up angrily, rushing around the library's corners-because that's what this was, a library, with bright signs encouraging reading or some event or another-and grabbing at the hoodie.

“Excuse you!”

The person turned around and...

It was a skeleton monster. Hmph. Then he should have better manners than that. Strawberry huffed, crossing his arms as he looked the other up and down. “Well?”

The skeleton, dressed in a blue hoodie and basketball shorts, blinked and rubbed the back of his head. “....well?”

Strawberry rolled his eyes, sighing. “I'm Strawberry? You. You let the book fall.”

“Oh, sorry,” He chuckled, hands in his hoodie pockets. “But ah, ya know, I think I know how ya got your name.”

...what? Oh, perhaps he had knowledge of the old language! How quaint, he'd love to hear his accent. “Oh? Do tell~” he purred, bracing himself on his parasol.

The skeleton winked. “You're berry sweet.”

It took a moment for it to sink in, and a bright pink blush took his face, turning around quickly. “W-What! That's not what you're supposed to say!” he squeaked out, hiding his face.

The skeleton chuckled. “Hey, who scared the strawberry?”

Strawberry pulled his hands down, peeking over his fingers. “...who?”

“The booberry.”

This time they both laughed, Strawberry's face still lightened up with his flush. He hadn't been expecting any of this.

A librarian shushed them, and when the skeleton wasn't watching, Strawberry hissed at her with dark sockets. She'd be having some nightmares for a while. The skeleton chuckled, rubbing the back of his head. “Sorry, heh. I'm Sans,” he whispered, holding out his hand.

Strawberry cleared his throat, dangling his parasol from his elbow as he took the hand. “Strawberry, as I said. It's...nice to meet you. I'm sorry I was so angry.”

Sans shrugged, releasing his hand but leaving a warm, tingling feeling in his fingers. “It's alright, should've watched where I was goin'.” He sighed, shaking his head. “Anyway, I gotta go-”

“Wait.”

What was he doing?

What...

Strawberry stared for a moment, then reached into a pocket on his dress, magicking a phone and a phone number. “...I'd like to meet you again? Please?”

Sans chuckled, winking as he took the slip of paper with his number on it. “Sure thing, berry cutie.” And with that, he was gone, as if he was never there.

Strawberry touched his face, the pink blush burning across his face. 

Dear Gods what was he doing.

...no one had...talked to him like that before. No one had _looked_ at him like that before.

He was intrigued. He wanted more.

He whipped his head around, seeing the librarian stalking her way around, and with a blip he disappeared, slipping into her unconscious. How dare she interrupt him, whether it was important or not! Did she not know who he was? What entity she was testing?!

She certainly will now, he thought with a dark grin, already feeling his teeth sharpen, his skull crack into place, large eye shaping into the middle of his skull.

She certainly will now...

~~

Sans whistled as he came into the house, taking his shoes off at the entrance, shuffling to the couch.

“BROTHER!” Papyrus called from the kitchen, peeking into the living room as Sans hopped up. “HOW WAS YOUR LIBRARY VISIT??”

“Eh, was okay, couldn't find the series Frisk wanted.” He shrugged. “But ah, found a new friend.”

“HOW JOLLY! AT LEAST ONE GOOD THING CAME OF YOUR ADVENTURE!”

“Yeah,” he said, already taking his phone out with a grin. “True that.”

Hmm. Was texting after meeting too fast? Not fast enough? Maybe he should borrow Papyrus' dating manual...

He hadn't been expecting to meet someone at the library, not entirely. In fact, it had been...geeze, a long time since he'd last went out. Papyrus tried to entice him with friends they knew or shenanigans but eh, he just wasn't feeling it, you know?

Not until he met this 'Strawberry'.

He was just absolutely cute! He was angry and his cheeks puffed up with a pink scuff of magic and it made him want to pinch his cheeks. Then the flustering he caused, the cute outfit he wore...

Even if they just ended up being friends, at least he tried, right? Right.

...right.

He could already feel himself doubting this, but he shook his head. No! No downing himself. Time to try!

'hey'

That was an awful first text, but...well, it was true to form for him.

And now. To wait.

~~

“O Great and Benevolent Strawberry, He Who Walks the Dreamscape! We-”

“Shh shh,” he shushed, sitting up on the gold throne his cult had built for him. “I got a text! That's what the kids say now, isn't it?”

The head priest-he never asked names-dressed in a pale purple robe, blinked rapidly. “Y-Y-Yes?”

He squealed, tossing his feet over the arm of the chair as he took out the phone. He squinted, then squirmed, dangling the phone at him. “I need you to text for me.”

He scrambled to obey, the rest of the worshiping members still bowed down low, unsure of how to proceed. “W-What should I say, your nightmarishness?”

“Hmmmmm,” he sighed, slinking back over the arm of the chair, his dress never slipping farther than his knees. “Saaaay. Hello back. But with cute smiles!”

The head priest hurried to obey nervously, now tasked as...basically a personal assistant for the moment.

'you wanna meet again? I'm off on weekends.'

“Hmmmm,” Strawberry sighed, somehow laying upside down in the chair with his dress practically defying gravity at this point. “Tell him...hmmmm. Yes. Pick a good spot for my date,” he waved at the man. “Otherwise I'll drag you to my realm to be fodder.”

“Y-Yes my liege!” He quickly tapped away, sweating nervously. “I-I proposed the coffee shop down the road?”

Strawberry's light pink pips stared at him as they all waited anxiously for Sans' answering text.

'cool, see u at 10 then'

Everyone breathed a collective sigh as Strawberry righted himself, squealing and clapping his hands. “Oh wonderful, how amazing! How fortuitous! I'll have to dress up-”

“You look lovely as always,” the head priest nervously said and Strawberry tutted.

“You're so right, I'm adorable.” He squeaked, peeking his tongue out. “Alright, let's get back to it then.”

He took his phone back, curling his legs under his dress as he smiled, the head priest continuing their sacrifice. The man on the altar was tied up, a bash to the skull meant he was bleeding profusely, but he was wide awake and screaming under the gag, squirming.

Strawberry delicately stepped down, allowing the head priest to lead him over, floating up above the man with a devilish grin. “You're such an ugly soul,” he whispered, hand cupping the man's cheek as he cried in fear, shaking, his arms tied down to the concrete slab. He tilted his head, hooking a finger on the gag, pulling it down. “Say again?”

“Please, please let me go, please, please!” he pleaded and Strawberry tutted, leaning in, his teeth sharpening as flames started to lick behind him.

“Is that what Sarah said to you when you took her?”

Strawberry's giggles echoed behind him along with the man's screams, the altar bursting into flames as they disappeared into the realm of the unknown, of the nightmares, somewhere he would never come back from.

(In the crowd, a woman clutching a funeral pamphlet started to cry softly, and was led away once they cleaned up the altar.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Strawberry: I'm in love! Love I say!  
> Terrified Mortal he's kidnapped: b-but you only met him for five minutes   
> Strawberry: shut your face UwU
> 
> Sans: so I met this cutie but he probably doesn't like me-
> 
> Ah, true love~


	2. Morals?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans and Strawberry talk. Strawberry has an attack of morals.
> 
> Ew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For one tiny moment Strawberry might have went on the road of redemption, then it got yeeted out the window bc he wants to be wild and free
> 
> But if Sans says no murder then, like, his hands are tied, yo

Strawberry had never tried this 'coffee' before. To be fair, he had never tried many mortal things before, nor had he ever imagined wanting to.

He supposed there would be a lot of mortal things that he would have to stand now that his curiosity was piqued by this skeleton.

Said skeleton was winding through a small crowd, approaching their table in the busy cafe. He held a simple iced drink and one with a melody of colors and foam on the top. He slid it to Strawberry, settling in the seat opposite him. “Figured ya'd like a sweet drink,” he winked.

Strawberry flushed, laughing as he picked it up, careful of his gloves, his parasol tilted against his legs as he leaned the drink close to his mouth. “Intriguing, yes. I haven't had this concoction.”

“It's called a Unicorn Drink. 's supposed ta be limited or somethin'.” Sans shrugged, sipping his drink through the straw. Strawberry hummed, leaning closer, sniffing the top of the drink. It smelled like something buzzy, he couldn't explain it. So, he took a sip, his toes curling in his shoes as he squeaked.

“Marvelous! Simply marvelous,” Strawberry grinned, popping the lid off from around the foam. “Why, how did they come up with this little thing?” He dipped his head down, pink tongue peeking out and scooping up the foam, peeking up slyly. Sans flushed, looking away as he sipped his own drink.

“I uh, dunno,” he laughed nervously. “Think they just wanted to try a little bit of everything.”

Strawberry grinned, hand holding his chin, feet swinging under the table as he stirred the straw around slowly. “Intriguing~” he purred. “So, tell me about yourself. Do you...live here?” What town was this again? He barely cared to ask anymore, all of them running together like wax in the sunlight.

Sans nodded, placing his cup down, drumming his fingers against the table. “Yeah, heh. Me and my bro live together, our dad's work takes him out of the country.” Strawberry nodded along, slowly inhaling the drink, unaware he had yet to take breath. “Pap works for the local gym, he helps folks work out, ya know?”

“Admirable~” Strawberry grinned. Whatever a gym was, Sans' 'bro' had to be doing some kind of important duty, he supposed. Whatever that was. “And you?”

Sans chuckled. “I uh, work IT. Kind of.”

“Kind of?”

“It's uh, hard to explain,” he said, rubbing the back of his head. “I work for uh, higher up places, and when they need somethin' fixed, they call me ta come in, take a look, and I do a little techno magic.” He wiggled his fingers and Strawberry blinked, rolling the straw around his tongue for a moment.

“Fascinating~! Is it quite hard?”

“Not ta me, but other people, maybe.”

“Oooh.” So work was different to each mortal...huh. That was good to know. 

Before he could respond, Sans interrupted, “So what about you? What do you do?”

Strawberry paused. 'Rule over several cults with an iron fist' seemed a bit out of Sans' ballpark. Hmm. He searched through his mind over nightmares he'd given various people, alighting upon one that struck his fancy. “I...am...an influencer!”

“A what?” Sans appeared amused. He must be doing this right!

“Y-Yes!” he gave a nervous grin, not sure why he was nervous entirely, “I have a small cult-oh, bad choice of words, yes. But I have a small following, I'm in a small section of the internet, so small, yes, wouldn't know me.”

Sans gave him a look, and Strawberry gave his cutesy look, the one that made people trust him. He puffed up his cheeks, flushing pink, and Sans laughed. “Aww, secret, huh? Were ya in a movie?”

“...yeeesss?”

Sans nodded, picking up the cup to drink, and Strawberry sighed in relief that he believed him. “Yeah, just keep trucking, you'll get a big part someday.” He winked, and Strawberry felt a flutter in his soul. Aww. He wanted to assure him! How quaint, how adorable!!

“What about you? You live around here?”

Strawberry flinched, laughing nervously. Damn. He didn't know anything about this tiny town. “I-I just moved in! Yes, and I, well, it's quite...quaint. Nice. Quiet,” he mumbled, flushing.

Sans nodded. “Yeah, it's nice and cozy here.”

Oh good, he passed that one. He let out a soft sigh, frowning now that he noticed the drink was gone. Oh boodle. Sans chuckled. “You uh, wanna go take a walk then?”

“Sure!”

Outside, Strawberry opened his parasol, breathing in deeply under the warm sunlight. Ah, this was nice. It had been a while since he'd just taken a walk around. Sans offered his arm and, blushing, Strawberry took it, letting the other escort him away from the coffee shop.

They talked some more. Sans had a brother and a father, and he was the oldest of the two sons. He liked ketchup-to a startlingly degree-and had a love of the stars above them. Lately, he had started to get into various myths, and a kid of his friend had suggested a series of books, but he couldn't find them yet.

Strawberry had to side-step a lot of questions. He didn't have siblings, his parents were long gone, he had a love of ice cream, sweet things, and pastel colors. He mentioned sometimes being bothered by his followers, that they always seemed to want something from him, or they were just annoying in general.

“I dunno,” Sans said as they rounded a corner, passing a small park. “I think they see ya as...well, as someone to look up ta. It's not bad to be generous, but you don't have to do every single thing they ask.”

“Yes but it's the asking,” he sighed, shaking his head, hand on his own cheek. “On and on, can you do this for me? Can you do that for me? Even when I show them why they should stop-” by eating someone- “They never seem to learn!”

“Well,” Sans nodded. “It's 'cause they see the good side of ya.”

“...what.”

“Ya did something nice, right? Or you do nice things?” Strawberry shrugged, looking away. “Well, they think you do. They think that askin' won't hurt nothin', and if you were kind once, maybe you'll be nice again.” Sans hummed. “It also depends on what they're askin' for. Nothing hurts by saying hello, or anything. I mean, if they ask you to assassinate the queen or something you should say no,” he chuckled, but it had sent Strawberry into thinking.

Hmm. Would that impress Sans? Being...nice?? Was he perhaps too harsh on his followers? “Sans?”

“Hm?”

Strawberry looked up as a cloud started to roll by. “If...if you followed someone, and, say, you asked them for something, and they responded by calling you a fool and mocking you, that's not nice is it?”

Sans shook his head, making a face. “Nah, not really. Wouldn't make me like 'em no more, for sure. Why? Did someone say something to you?”

“...no. It's okay.”

The date was...a semi-success in Strawberry's view. But he had a lot to think on.

~~

“Cornelius.”

The head priest stopped in the grand gesturing he was doing in order to ask another favor from Strawberry. “Y-Yes, your nightmarishness?”

Strawberry sighed, slinking to lay out over the armrests of the chair again, staring up at the ceiling. “Have I, perhaps, been rude to you? Over the years? Hm? You can tell me~” his light pink pips moved to watch the sweating man, who wondered if this was a test of his will.

“I-I...”

“Come now,” Strawberry sat up, clapping his hands. “Only the truth.”

“P-Perhaps? But our rules and morals are-are different than yours! Yes?”

Strawberry tilted his head, his tongue peeking out to lick over his teeth idly in thought. “You're right. Mortal dilemmas are not for me. But...oh but Sans said I should be perhaps nicer to you all.” He sighed, leaning back, arm tossed over his eyes. “All of this is so hard. How do you do it?”

The priest gulped, eyes flicking from him to the altar, where they had fruit instead burning on it as appeasement, then back. “I...don't know?”

“Hm.” Strawberry gasped, sitting up and thumping his fist into his hand, looking not at all intimidating now that he wasn't splayed about. “Perhaps! I am approaching this wrong. Perhaps! I should instead show Sans the funs of life and not the chains of laws and morals and, ugh, feelings.”

“...y...yes?” The priest yelped as Strawberry chucked the phone at him, scrambling to catch it as the God leaned back, sighing happily.

“Oh this makes me feel so much better~! Back to my old self. Yes, text him-wait no, find out if there's going to be a carnival this week. That's rife with potential~!”

There was, and Sans accepted another date to go to it with Strawberry. The followers were happy, as this meant Strawberry was happily elated, little pink hearts popping around his head, easily granting their request.

If this was how things were going now, they hoped Sans stayed and Strawberry didn't eat him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sans: Hey Pap, you know all this internet stuff. What's an influencer?  
> Papyrus: UUUUHHH
> 
> (Papyrus is secretly an IG influencer who takes many many selfies. But he does NOT want his brother to find out bc, as technologically attuned Sans is, he really doesn't get social media)


	3. Fire, Fire, Burning Bright

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Strawberry goes on another date with Sans~!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bill Cipher said that the Aztecs worshiped him in one of the episodes, I think. I like to think of a cute little innocent Bill who finds out he was summoned bc someone cut someone else's heart out and it just kinda ruins humanity for him.
> 
> Yeah.

_”But…they’ll die.” Strawberry curled away from the man, unable to move out of the summoning circle. He looked down at his pink robes then back up, clutching his wand, a branch of a Sakura tree. “I. You want to kill them?”_

_”Yes,” the man said, his arms folded in front of him, wearing a dark grey robe. “I’ve summoned you for that exact reason. And you accepted it.”_

_He had. He had, because he loved the humans. They loved him. They would offer figs and sweet wine to him, and he in turn would offer bountiful harvests. But he’d never been asked this…_

_He shook his head. “I-I can’t.”_

_”You have to. It’s what I am asking, and you accepted.”_

_He was right. There was no fighting it. He could feel the magic seeping into his bones, but he didn’t want that! He didn’t want a village of people to be covered in fire and ash! He wanted to save them!_

_But, with tears in his sockets, his little wand lit up with a glow, and he vanished._

_The deal was sealed. It was done. In the distance, a rumble started to be heard as the man hurried off to inform someone of their new title of Caesar._

_That was just one of several that caused Strawberry to detest humanity. They used him, and wanted not to play nor to sing with him, but merely to have his powers for their use. Well, two could play at that game, he thought, and he soon became known for his temper and the riskiness in summoning him._

_Nothing could ever change his mind from how he loathed humanity, mortality. Nothing at al-_

“Heeey Strawberry.”

Strawberry jumped from the sudden touch to his shoulder, violently vaulting him into the present. He cleared his throat, giving Sans a nervous smile. “H-Hello there again.”

”You okay?”

Strawberry nodded. “Yes? Why?”

Sans reached out and he almost flinched back before recalling that he could easily scoop this little mortal up within a moment. Sans’ hand cupped his cheek, sweeping a thumb over the edge of his socket, brushing away a tear. “You’re crying?”

”I um,” Strawberry sniffed, shaking his head as he cupped a hand over Sans’, smiling. “It’s been a while since I’ve gone to a carnival. Sentimentalism, I suppose.”

Sans nodded, smiling at him as he took his hand away, offering his arm up. Strawberry tittered, taking it as he swung his parasol up. “Such a gentleman~”

”Heh, yeah. Watcha wanna go see first?”

Strawberry clicked his tongue in thought as they entered through the carnival’s gate. He noticed Sans had now dressed up a little more than from their first meeting. Instead of the hoodie, he now wore a button down white shirt with slacks. Hm. Perhaps this ‘bro’ of his managed to get him some style. Very good, Strawberry had to help him out the rest of the way of course, but a little help was never denied.

“Oh let’s go ride one of the camels, please~?” He purred, nuzzling up to Sans’ cheek as he laughed.

”Sure, sure. Seems fun.”

Oh it was definitely ‘fun’. Strawberry had ‘convinced’ the holder of the camels to allow them both on, and he sat in front of Sans, sighing as he leaned back, his back arching a bit. “Isn’t this fun~?”

”Y-Yeah,” Sans squeaked out, and Strawberry tilted his head, snickering at the bright blue blush on Sans’ face, his hands hesitantly holding onto Strawberry’s hips. This boy wouldn’t know what hit him once Strawberry managed to catch him in his web.

Sadly, their ride ended before he could fully tease Sans, and he sighed, smoothing out his perfect dress. Well, next time.

Sans cleared his throat. “L-Let’s go uh, ring toss?”

”Hmm, sure~”

The ring toss was a bore, so much so that Strawberry barely paid attention, much more interested in the push and pull of the crowd. People jeering, mocking one another, laughing in delight…ah, how quaint.

He blinked as Sans dangled a little pink teddy in front of him. “They didn’t have any good prizes this time,” he said as Strawberry took the teddy, lacing their arms together again as they headed to grab a funnel cake. “Sorry.”

”It’s alright. I adore it.” Strawberry pecked a kiss to his cheek, making Sans blush even brighter. How adorable! “Ah, perhaps we should find our seats then?”

”Y-Yeah,” he stuttered, making Strawberry laugh as they let the crowd lead them to the entrance of the high top.

The carnival was not at all like how Strawberry recalled them. Fire breathers and lion tamers and elephants that could crush you. No, instead they had clowns and cars and weird bands…how boring.

He sighed, one leg crossed over the other, drinking in the glances Sans was giving him. The little lace trim slid up his leg, revealing his knee, nearly covered by his silk socks with black bows on them. He knew he was being a tease, but the more to snare Sans in with, yes? Yes.

But oh how boring it was. He sighed, head resting on his hand, other hand tapping his fingers against Sans’ hand. How to spice things up…

Oh. There.

The clown was doing a pirouette on a unicycle.

Strawberry smirked, flicking a finger.

The clown shrieked at the sight of a large rat speeding his way, falling off the unicycle and making the crowd-who assumed it was part of the act-laugh loudly. The clown scrabbled away, tripping over his own large shoes and sobbing in fear. The other clowns honked horns at the rat, but it started to foam at the mouth, biting at the air and chasing them away.

One brave fencer entered the arena, the crowd holding its breath.

Strawberry flicked his finger, smirking happily at the chaos around them.

~~~

“Wasn’t that just fun, Sans?” 

Strawberry twirled his parasol as sirens rang out around them. The high top was lit aflame, people nearly stampeding over one another as they fled. The rat had escaped and no one knew where it went, and Strawberry had ensured they had left unscathed.

Sans had a worried look on his face, looking back at the tent. “Not really?? That was really dangerous, we’re lucky to get outta there.”

Strawberry frowned, holding onto his parasol. “But, the little thing with the mouse, and then how they attempted to fight it?”

”Yeah, but then they knocked over the lantern…we could’ve really gotten hurt. Anyone could’ve.” He sighed, shaking his head. “I guess it’s okay, but it wasn’t fun.”

”…huh.”

”What?” Sans asked, but Strawberry shook his head, giving him a small smile. 

”Nothing. …would you be opposed to another date, sometime?”

Like that, the event was forgotten, and Sans lit up, happy to see Strawberry in the future.

…Strawberry had to think on some things, however.

~~

“Rosalind, you would know more than Cornelius about this dating thing.”

Rosalind, in the middle of leading their group through their usual praising of their God, paused, looking over at Strawberry in the beautiful vine and wood chair they had painstakingly made over the years. “…who…?”

Strawberry waved a hand, one leg tossed over the other. “Doesn’t matter. If you did something, but the other party didn’t much care for it, what would you do?”

Rosalind cocked her head to the side, looking like she was actually thinking on it. “It…depends, actually.”

”On?”

Rosalind let her arms drop, and the other members stayed kneeling, a bit confused but not surprised when they were distracted from their usual endeavors. “Well, if it’s something like wearing a certain type of clothing, or eating something, or a hobby, then I’d tell them to stick a fat stick up their arse.”

Strawbbery cracked a grin at that, fingers tapping away on the arm of the chair. “But?”

”If it’s something…annoying, or rude, or…well it depends on what it is.”

Strawberry sighed, rolling his head back in annoyance. “What I find fun, and what he finds fun, seems to be two different…funs. He didn’t much care for my burning of the high top.”

Rosalind nodded. “Being destructive can damage a date, this is true.”

He cupped his chin, thinking for a moment, then waved his hand. “Continue.” She bowed lightly, turning and raising her arms to lead them back into their praising.

He’d always been an agent of chaos. It was literally his role. God of Chaos. Well, it’s the one the humans gave him. Perhaps, though…perhaps he might temper it just a little. Until they got to know one another better. Until he had Sans as his, forever.

And then he could jump back into what he knew and loved. Yes, that sounded like a plan!

Easy.

~~

Sans slowly drew his arms back, wading in the pool of ketchup, tilting his head back. Strawberry sat in his usual attire, legs crossed as Sans swam on his back. “Heeeey.”

”Hello~ Having fun, I take it?”

”Mm-hmm.” He did another stroke, wading closer, Strawberry tutting as he shifted away. 

”Cheeky~” He winked, reaching out to tap Sans’ nose. “We’ve only begun dating. I’m told one must wait for things like that.”

”Things like what?” He grinned dopily as Strawberry sighed.

”You silly. Looking up my skirt, as if I haven’t a clue~ But here, you may touch.” He stretched his silk sock-covered leg out, and Sans held out his hand, no ketchup dripping from it as he cupped around Strawberry’s heel.

It felt like soft butter. His fingers dipped against the ankle, sliding up slowly, drawing a breathless sigh from the other. But then, when his fingers reached behind Strawberry’s knee…

He woke up, sweating, in the dark of his bedroom.

He blinked, sighed, and thumped his head against his pillow. “…dammit. I really wanted that ketchup pool.”

(Strawberry hid on his plane, face bright pink, the touch of Sans’ fingers echoing up his leg and to his thigh, burning into his memory for all eternity.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UwU Strawberry, you cheeky thing~~~


	4. Movie Plans (Awry)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans and Strawberry have a date at the movies that keeps getting interrupted....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ngl this is something I've kinda been planning lol

The mortals had really come far over the years. Once, Strawberry could recall traveling troupes of musicians and actors, some performing great plays upon wooden stages (that he sometimes set aflame), and others in a dark hall with large hand fans, dancing to the beat of primal drums.

He loved those the most. They were the only ones he wouldn’t burn down. He’d always wanted to learn how, but between one blink and the next, the world was moving on and the dancing slipped to the backs of people’s minds as war raged, and then it just...never seemed to surface again.

A pity.

But now they had these giant screens that would play nearly the same thing, except you sat in pure darkness and let the bass tremble through your body.

Or. So he assumed. It was hard to figure out from the mortal’s mind he invaded when Sans had suggested it. He made a giant worm that chased the mortal around as he investigated the dream theater. Lots of seats….”Oh would you stop with the screaming!”

Strawberry twisted his head around with a frown, and as the mortal passed by, his mouth melted away, and his screaming became muffled. Strawberry smiled even as the man scratched at his face, squirming on the ground in terror. “Much better!”

...what was all this puffed up stuff on the floor?? It was sticky too. Ew.

“Hmm,” Strawberry stepped gingerly on one seat, swinging his parasol up as he stepped up to the back of it, sighing. “Very well, I’ll suffer through it. You have fun there.” He opened his parasol, and the dream world melted around them, indicating the man was waking up.

That was fine. Strawberry had fed on his dream long enough. Time to get ready for a date~!

~~~~~~~~

The theater was one that Papyrus had shown him, way back when they had freshly moved in. It was large and had a second story which was pretty amazing, and boasted 3D movies along with various games and activities beyond just movies. 

Which. Sans kind of wanted to steer the go-karts but he didn’t quite see Strawberry being the type to enjoy that. (But he did hope he could get him to play some skeeball…)

He perked up, seeing said skeleton come through the doors. “Strawberry! Hey!” He waved, causing Strawberry to wave back and easily slipping through the noisy crowd towards Sans.

Sans always felt...under-dressed near the other. He wore his hoodie, and a nice shirt with jeans, but Strawberry...man…

He had on a dark pink dress with bows around the edges, shoulder straps pinned in place and a bow on his lower back. Instead of his usual parasol-since the theater didn’t allow umbrellas inside the rooms-it seemed he had an odd white cane in his hand. He smiled, bouncing over (wearing silk socks with a Sakura petal pattern that Sans, blushingly, noticed) and pecking a kiss to his cheek. “Sansy~! There’s just so many people!”

“Heh, yeah, c’mon.” He tilted his head to the side, leading Strawberry towards the hallways that held the movies. Thank goodness he bought the tickets online, the line stretched out the door! “So uh...what’s up with that?” He nodded at the cane, to which Strawberry blinked as they walked onto carpet this time, twitching said cane in his-gloved-hand.

“Ah, well, I’m always fidgeting with something,” he smiled. “And it really brings my whole outfit together~!”

He was right about that. Sans had to agree. Strawberry looped his arm with Sans', smiling. “So what movie are we watching?”

Sans grinned. “You’ll like it, it’s an ‘anime’ that Alph suggested. Spirited Away.”

“What’s an anime?” Strawberry asked as they headed into one room, ducking in through the doors. “And who’s Alph?”

Sans chuckled, helping Strawberry up a small flight of stairs to a row of seats. “Anime is uuuuh well it’s...it’s from Japan. It’s an art style, I guess.” He shrugged. “And Alphys is my friend from work.”

Strawberry had to ruffle his dress a bit to sink into the odd chair, clicking the cane against the ground idly. “Friend?”

“Yeah, her and Undyne finally tied the knot so they’re on honeymoon,” Sans continued on about the two of them, to Strawberry’s slightly confused expression. Sans opted to grab them some snacks, and came back with a tub of popcorn and two sodas.

Strawberry delicately pinched one up, looking at it. “Very...greasy.”

“Yeah,” Sans mumbled through a mouthful of popcorn. “I like butter on it.” The lights started to dim, making Strawberry jump and hold onto Sans’ arm (which, he certainly didn’t mind).

And then, the movie started…

~~~~

The first thing that irritated Strawberry was the fact that his ‘phone’ buzzed against his leg. The second was the fact that someone was _summoning him despite his warnings_. 

Gods be damned to them. But he couldn’t not answer it. Instead, he pecked a kiss to Sans’ cheek, apologizing with a whisper as he stepped out of the theater room with a sigh. His cane turned into his parasol, and he popped away in an instant.

It was Joquine, a follower from a country whose bread he detested and whose accent grated on his nerves (or perhaps, it was Joquine’s specialty, to get on people’s nerves that is). Joquine wasn’t in charge of one of his cults, rather, he preferred to summon Strawberry as he thought he’d someday get some power or another, Strawberry never paid attention.

Joquine threw himself onto the ground, beige robes fluttering about him. “O Great and Powerful Dream God-”

“I am on a time limit so please, hurry this up,” Strawberry waved his hand in a circle, looking bored as Joquine nodded faster, lifting his head.

“Yes yes, my liege, as you say,” he stumbled around, quickly sitting up on his knees. “I found a cipher I cannot understand, could you perhaps lead me in the direction?”

Oh stars above, not this again. Joquin thought there were hidden messages in everything, some secrecy that would lead him to gaining Godly powers. What a fool. An amusing fool. When he had time.

Instead Strawberry was pretty pressed right now, so he sighed, flicked his fingers, and tossed a paper at Joquin. “There, try that, do not summon me again for two hours.”

He left to the tune of Joquin’s grateful thanking.

What a loon.

Strawberry snuggled up to Sans’ arm once he was back, giggling when Sans accidently touched his knee when grabbing for the drink in the dark, mumbling out an apology with a blush. Oh that’s adorable~ 

The movie was fascinating, it gave him many ideas for future punishments...and there goes his phone.

Again.

He took in a deep sigh, clenching his teeth as he vanished once more. 

Joquin, down on his knees, once more. “My liege, apologies, but I have found myself in need of security!”

Strawberry raised an eyebrow, leaning back in the summoning circle as he looked around idly. “Security?” Joquin wasn’t so smart. He kept summoning the dream God in his...well...garage? That’s what it was. It held a lawnmower and an ugly little car, but the summoning circle had been burned into the concrete.

Smart move there. He would have messed up the lines and summoned a Frolic Worm eventually.

Darn.

“Yes!” Joquin gasped, jumping up, his hands clasped in front of his robes to Strawberry’s unamusement. “You see, the police, oh they know that I know! And the government! I need assistance, security, to keep myself hidden from them! And everyone that mocks me online!”

...yeah Strawberry wasn’t touching that one. Instead he sighed, made a hand wave, and nodded. “There, security.”

“Thank you, thank you, than-” 

Strawberry vanished. 

Okay, it wasn’t exactly what Joquin had asked for, but Strawberry set up a ward so that basically it would ring loudly and alert him should anyone cross it. Which would fade within a week. He didn’t want to waste his magic on something so trivial.

Now, he was back, cuddling up to Sans, feeding him popcorn and thumbing his jaw lightly with the glove, enjoying the way his face did that twitch-grin as if he wasn’t sure to smile or laugh. How cu-

 _Buzz_.

Strawberry froze, just as Chihiro started cleaning up a goopy monster. He pressed a kiss to Sans’ cheek. “I’m sorry, one last time~”

Sans nodded, squeezing his hand when Strawberry got up. “No worries, I’ll be here.”

Strawberry smiled, blowing him a kiss as he stepped out once more.

Instead of the usual ‘poof’ or the dramatic entrance where petals of pink flowers bloomed and the God walked from thin air with the scent of strawberries, Joquin had the _utmost honor_ of meeting a form he had never been prepared for.

Strawberry’s large hands gripped the edges of the summoning circle, larger than Joquin’s car, and slowly the chaos God dragged himself from the plane of existence. Instead of his usual ‘cute’ appearance, he was positively _monstrous_. His skull was larger now, his body barely being held inside the garage. The skull cracked as it fashioned itself into an alternate form: one large looming pink/blue eye pip burned on the inside, his jaw split in four ways outwards like a blooming plant prepared to eat a fly.

The summoning circle crackled under the excessive magic as Strawberry screeched at his terrified follower. _”WHAT DO YOU THINK ‘DO NOT BOTHER ME FOR AN HOUR’ MEANS, YOU FLESHY THING?! I SHOULD SWALLOW YOU DOWN NOW FOR DARING TO INTRUDE ON MY ACTIVITIES. WHAT COULD YOU POSSIBLY WANT?!”_

Joquin stammered, shrieking as one hand slammed down beside him. _”SPEAK. UP.”_

“I-I-I...wanted to know...i-i-if you could show me...h-how to read Infernal?”

~~~~

Strawberry came back looking pleased, so whatever the phone call was about, must have been better than the past two. He came just in time to see Chihiro’s adventure on a train, and he curled up close, his hand latching back onto Sans’ as he took a piece of popcorn. Sans smiled, bringing their hands up to kiss Strawberry’s. “All good?” he whispered.

“More than you could ever know~” he leaned in for a kiss, albeit what he said left Sans wondering what he meant.

Huh.

He tasted like...warmth, like how the air tastes around a crackling fire.

(Very nice.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bill Cipher just got bigger and redder when he got mad, ya gotta go big or go home, bro, break out the unnatural arms and mind-breaking knowledge.
> 
> Joquin is meant to kinda be like Gideon except idk I don't know why Bill went along with him bc he was just so annoying. Although. Chaos. Probably to him paid off in the end (plus he was using Gideon for his own goals), whereas Strawberry is on a date and would *very much like to finish it, thank you*
> 
> Chaos can come *later*


	5. How To Make A Skeleton Yours In One Easy Step

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Strawberry wants his Sansy, but can he ever get through that little hard head of his?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler: he does

They have a lot of dates. So many dates. So many that Strawberry’s able to tell the passing of the seasons now, when he used to barely keep track of the whole thing. The leaves turn brown and children rush to buses, and Sans invites him to ‘apple pick’ on a weekend when they’re both not busy.

Strawberry sighs and angles his head towards the window from where his throne sits. This one is pale red with a large pillow for the seat, causing him to look dainty and not at all as dangerous as he actually. He tucked one leg up under him, sighing again as he rolled his head to the side. “Lorelei, how do humans stay true to one another? Or, rather, how do you ensnare the ones you want to keep?”

Said head priest had been half asleep (Strawberry had been…a tad antsy, and had arrived earlier than the rest of the members so they had to wait), and her head jerked up, hood slipping back to reveal her mint green dyed hair in a ponytail. “Sorry, dream team, I was dozin’. What’s shaking?”

Ah, he did so love her candor. She was the only one to get away with it. He liked her hair, and he loved her sassiness. She was only 17 but she had amassed a nice little group and he loved to listen to their tales of childhood. How quaint~! “How do humans keep one another close?” 

She blinked, sitting up with a yawn and pulling the sleeves of the dingy brown robe back, her leg jostling as she bounced it. “…what, like, dating?”

”Yeeess, but after.” He waved his hand, nodding. “When you’re close but want to keep the other for yourself.”

”Oh.” She snorted, reaching up to adjust the holder in her hair with both hands. “That’s marriage. People get married and live together and then if you’re unlucky, you split and your kid has to bounce from house to house each semester.” She clapped her hands back on her lap, shrugging. “I dunno, seems like a lot of work.”

Ah, yes, that was her reason for summoning him the first time. Her father started dating a…not so nice human, and Lorelei’s eye was darker than the rest of her face when they first met. He liked her crude manner and her ability to bite back at him. It was so charming~ He sighed, drumming his hand on the arm of the throne. “Oh but Lorelei, I want to keep him all to myself! Humans deal it differently than we do.”

She nodded, dragging a leg up to wrap her arm around her leg. “Yeah that’s fair. So like, in everything I see, the guy’s gotta get you a ring.” Strawberry tilted his head in thought as the ‘cult’ started to gather, two boys and three girls. Both boys were dressed in black, while two of the girls wore matching outfits. The last girl had on what he was told was a Catholic school uniform, with its straight skirt and white blouse. Pretty, but she always tossed the tie off when they arrived. Lorelei turned to one of the boys. “Ain’t that right? The boy’s gotta propose.”

The boy, Hamshaw, shrugged, plopping down on a slightly dingy couch with his skateboard, rolling it back and forth with one foot. “Yeah? I guess? It’s different for monsters.”

Strawberry perked up, leaning in. “How so?”

One of the girls, a taller one in a red sweater and jeans that matched her sibling, squeaked and bounced in place. “Oh my gods!!! So like, it’s so very romantic, right Kassidy?”

”Uh, DUH, Rachey!” Kassidy, two inches shorter than her sister and with blonde instead of black hair, responded. “Oh you should see it! We saw it-”

”Accidentally-”

”That time in Paris?” Kassidy clapped her hands together with a squeal, kicking her heels against the floorboard. “So like this one monster, a jelly one? Like he takes out this puff-”

”It was weird,” Rachey nodded quickly. “But it was like a marshmallow???”

”And he looks at his gf!” Kassidy squealed, covering her cheeks as she grinned. “And he goes ‘Like, let’s get married and stuff!’”

”Except, not exactly like that.”

”Yeah it was something else, but like, they got married!” They finished, giggling together. The other girl, long blonde hair now with the tie as a headband, her ID tag dangling from her front pocket proudly proclaiming her name as Elizabeth, sighed and put her hands on her hips as she looked at Strawberry.

”Humans use rings. Monsters sometimes don’t have the appendages,” she explained. “So they find other ways. One of my cousins married a cat monster, and he proposed using a feather to stick behind her ear.” She shrugged, pulling out a tube of lipgloss from her skirt pocket, popping it open to dump out a cigarette. “So, it’s, whatever skeletons do, man.”

“Hmmm,” Strawberry tilted his head back, a hand cupping his chin in thought as Lorelei hissed at Elizabeth to smoke outside so none of them would be caught. Whatever skeletons do, hm? …the only one that wasn’t Sans that he knew…

…was Papyrus.

He’d finally met Sans’ brother about a week after the movie date. Strawberry managed to actually make a profile, albeit he tossed it at Rosalind to keep track of (she had a good head about her). Papyrus was…very…loud and happy. Had Strawberry not fallen so hard for Sans, perhaps he might have considered Papyrus. It seemed Papyrus was focused on his growing popularity than actually dating, for now.

Yes, he would be the perfect skeleton to ask! Ah, he knew that his followers would have such great ideas. He clapped his hands, interrupting Lorelei and Elizabeth’s arguing over whether or not she could smoke inside or not.

”Perfect, absolutely perfect!! Let’s get to business then so that I can hurry and do my own bidding~”

With that, they started talking, asking for things and finding ‘sacrifices’ to give him. 

(He didn’t often demand great things from his younger followers, so he let them choose what to get. They had pooled some change together and bought him a Coca Cola bottle. He didn’t know what it was, but he liked how it clinked against his claws, so he granted their request:

Finding Carolyn Schumart, a girl in their class who went strangely missing a month ago. They didn’t know her very well, but they wanted to help in any way they could. He admired them for that, but not even he could prevent whatever fate laid her way.)

(He could. But it required a greater sacrifice than these poor children could give, and one that he would not ask of them.)

~~

“Sansy~”

Waves crashed against the cliff below them, snug inside the lighthouse. Sans had paused, his hand extended out, holding a washcloth against the grimy window. He blinked, the washcloth disappearing as he turned away. “Yeah babe?”

”C’mere~”

Sans started to climb up the spiral staircase, somehow going from the third floor straight up to where he and Strawberry lived. Somehow. When did they move here? Hm. Anyway, he managed to get to their bedroom, which was a side door near the giant light, large and wooden and easily pushed open with a touch of his hand.

He couldn’t tell what their bedroom looked like, exactly, but on their large, silk-covered bed, laid Strawberry. He had on a silk negligee, thin with a bit of fur around the top of the cups, one strap dangling from his shoulder. One leg was propped up, the other straight out, and Sans could see that he wasn’t wearing anything under the top of the negligee, but a pair of very small undies.

Strawberry giggled, crooking his finger as candles flickered around them-when did that happen?-and Sans slowly stepped inside. “What, is it my birthday?” he joked and Strawberry tutted, reaching out to grab Sans’ hoodie and dragging him onto the bed above him.

”Mmm, something like that~ Kiss me?”

”Don’t gotta ask twice,” Sans leaned in, hands braced besides Strawberry’s head as they kissed. He could feel the stocking covered leg slide up his side, curling around his waist and then Strawberry broke the kiss, nuzzling his cheek.

”Sansy~”

”Yeah?” he let out breathlessly, unable to stop himself from pecking a kiss down Strawberry’s neck to wear the silk covered his shoulder.

”Let’s get married~”

…what.

“Huh?”

And then the dream changed, dropping them into an ocean of ketchup, and Sans seemed very pleased with this turn of events while Strawberry was left sputtering and angry. He left for his plane, insulted that his attempt hadn’t panned out…and a little hurt (although, dream selves could never quite control themselves, so he shouldn’t feel too hurt Sans ignored him for the ketchup).

Hmm. Maybe he should bring something up on their next date…

~~

Strawberry bit into the large, glistening apple under the fall sun, his usual dress on as he sat on the bench, waiting for Sans to return with cider. He turned the apple in his hands, sighing thoughtfully. If Sans doesn’t bring it up…then he’d have to do something drastic. He WOULD get that proposal!

He perked up as Sans appeared, gleefully taking the small tankard of cider. “Thank you, dear.” He pecked Sans’ cheek as he got up. “Now, where to?”

”Hay ride, it’s a staple, heh.”

Strawberry nodded. Whatever that was seemed to amuse Sans, so he agreed, and off they wandered through the apple forest. He hesitated for a moment, before clearing his throat. “You know, I had the strangest dream yesterday.”

He could feel Sans stiffen a bit from where their arms were linked. “Yeah?”

”Mm,” Strawberry nodded, sipping his drink again. “I dreamed I went bungee jumping, and you showed up with a tiger! How silly.” 

Sans laughed nervously, nodding. “Yeah, I’m skelli-fied of tigers.” His wriggling of his eye ridge made Strawberry snort as he laughed, careful not to spill the cider on his dress.

”What about you?” Strawberry asked, trying not to appear like he was too eager as they crossed over a small wooden bridge. “Have you had any odd dreams?”

Sans seemed to think it over, bouncing his head back and forth as they arrived at another small bench but this one had ‘Hay Ride’ on a sign. “Yeah, you could say that.”

Strawberry perked up, settling besides Sans as they waited, trying not to appear too interested. “Oh? What about?”

Sans hummed, sipping his drink slowly. “We…were swimmin’ in a swimming pool of ketchup.” He grinned. “Silly, huh? I really like ketchup, but I think it’s kinda giving me strange dreams.”

…oh. Strawberry tried not to look disappointed as he smiled. “How very odd indeed!”

The hay ride arrived, but Strawberry no longer felt so enthused. His attempt was a failure. Bother. Maybe he should be a bit less subtle…

~~

Sans sighed as he scrubbed a hand over his skull, staring at the…many, many ribbon choices. “I dunno, Paps, I mean. He likes pink a lot but I dunno enough for…” he motioned at the choices before him as Papyrus spoke up from the phone.

”PERHAPS GET ONE THAT MATCHES YOUR OWN MAGIC! DESPITE HIS AFFINITY FOR THE PALE COLORING, I HAVE NO DOUBTS HE WOULD ENJOY SUCH A SHADE OF COLOR!”

Sans stifled a chuckle, sighing as he shuffled down a bit towards more ribbons laid out in even rows, these now dark blue with various designs. “…yeah, I guess. Ugh. This is too hard. Can’t I just ask him?”

”NO, BROTHER!” Papyrus squealed over the phone. “THAT IS NOT AT ALL ROMANTIC NOR IS IT IN THE DATING MANUAL! IT IS MEANT TO BE A SURPRISE!”

”Right…surprise…” 

He hated surprises. Not for the surprise itself, but the fact that it meant he had _no idea what to choose_ since he could just ask Strawberry.

He slipped a hand under one ribbon as Papyrus rattled on about scenery and timing of the day, lifting it up. It was dark blue with a black edge, with a pretty pattern of sparkles forming a stream of little hearts.

…perfect!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Strawberry is v v upset that he failed in his endeavor and will definitely be trying to suggest it irl and in dream world
> 
> except like
> 
> Sans is already down for it, yo
> 
> by this point it's been about...3...months? Of dating? A little fast but Strawberry wants to *keep* Sans. Fast to him is not our fast. Plus, he's getting pointers from people who aren't married (Cornelius), pure romantics who read about things in books (Rosalind), and teenagers (Lorelei). 
> 
> Also he's way in love, so let him be what he be <3
> 
> And it might be a little pushy on Sans, but while Strawberry planted the seed, Sans is the one ruminating on it UwU he just wants to do it right lol. or maybe get Papyrus to plan it all since planning is not his forte >>
> 
> he has so many cults led by so many different people. He only remembers the head priests' names and the ones who make a mark on him, like the teens. 
> 
> He loves them. They're so young, so small, so funny!!!


End file.
